Turning Avoidance into Gold

In moments of great change, it may be tempting to float into the ethers or restrict your attention to the mental checklist arena; perhaps this is an attempt to control our own metamorphosis or at hover in the air until it seems the stormy weather has passed. 

I believe at the root of avoidance we often find an avoidance of ourselves, of our power and responsibility. After all, many of us comes from generations of people being fed the lie that curiosity and asking questions are sinful acts of disrespect.

I don't believe everything has to be a struggle or a slog, and perhaps meaningful struggle is a powerful source of magic at times, but an unnecessary narrative in others.

However, I have yet to meet a period of real and true growth that doesn't entail some level of discomfort or orientation.

image from seb janiak

WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSE TO YOUR OWN DISCOMFORT

⍫

You may find that your response to discomfort or confusion echoes the response you received as a child. If a parent felt so panicked by your sadness, maybe your sadness causes anxiety. Or perhaps you were met with abandonment, intellectualization or diversion into something else when your emotional experience overwhelmed the inner child of your caretakers. 

⍫

While the children in us never go away, they are also capable of coming into wholeness, despite what may have happened in other moments. Every aspect of who we are deserves our faith that in the eyes of the universe, it is whole, intelligent and able to grow.

Welcoming the fragments of us, the ones who were shunned, silenced, shamed or harmed is the only way for them to know they no longer need to act out to be acknowledged, no longer need to inflame our being for attention.  

⍫

What fragments within you calls out to you lately?
Your impatience, your sensitivity, your confusion? Your worrier, warrior, musical genius, or competitive streak? Can you invite these parts of you to the table and say, I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me. 

WHAT I LEARNED FROM 80’s TOY

In the 80s one of my favorite toys was the Lite-Brite. You could make these glowing fluorescent images by sticking pegs into a glowing board. I think this reminded me of the stars and their constellations as a small child.

I often think about how important it is for us to shine our light. It is not so much about trying to be bigger than others or wanting power over others. In fact, I think this way of thinking has been injected into our narratives via pop culture to deter us from understanding the greater whole, to keep us mired in pettiness and insecurity, so we won't have the energy to think about the greater whole.

I was thinking of the Lite Brite, because when you are creating an image with this toy, if one of the pegs doesn't shine, the picture is incomplete. 

I also think about how our brain's synapses work and how each of our neurons must give and receive in order to create connective flow. 

I think as individuals, we are a lot like these neurons. 

When we don't receive, we interrupt flow. 

When we don't give, we interrupt flow. 

When we don't give and receive, the collective imagination loses its shine. When we develop creative ways to relate and connect to one another, the larger whole becomes a work of art.

INCREASING YOUR CAPACITY

Work with these questions as journal prompts or as a card spread.  

• What increases your capacity to respond to discomfort with compassion?  

It might be a heavy lift like finding a movement practice or a therapist. But it might just be breathing, taking walks and listening to music. It might be hearing the voices in your head that don't belong to you and questioning them instead of reacting to them.

LITE BRITE EXERCISES

Do you believe that somehow when you shine, that you won't be safe or make others uncomfortable? 

Are you more comfortable giving and less trusting of relying on others?

Are you alway asking what a space or person can give you and rarely asking what you can contribute from a place of scarcity? 

Sit with yourself, sparkling star that you are.

Know the whole constellation of the universe benefits from your beauty, your radiance, and your ability give and receive.

How can you trust the bigger picture even if you can't see it right now?